ifc7-reviews-04-Markus

INTRA-FORUM CONTEST #7

CRITIQUES OF MARKUS' SONG

BECAUSE OF MONICA

JUDGE	RATING	COMMENTS
01-Iggy		Good Points: Nice, from the heart type of song. Vocals up front and easily heard. Good story line. Needs Improvement: I could not find any noticeable melody. The song was more a monotone sung to the changing chords. Drums were too canned taking away from the otherwise good playing. I kept waiting for the song to go somewhere, perhaps a bridge leading to an uplifting chorus. Something just wasnt there. I also noticed too many forced rhymes. Kiss to bliss, smiles to styles, etc. Summary A song with a good start. I think with the addition of a bridge or chorus, the song would have a better chance for successbut, then again, who am I?
06-Bobbio		Nice smooth melody.....maybe a little too much "maybe" in the lyric....good clean recording....Title passage is nice, but comes up a little too late in the song....break it up a bit and it won't sound so repetitious...Great title...
05-Todd		Lovely guitar. The vocal is a little submerged and hard to follow, but the instrumental performance is the most solid I've heard thus far.
90-Emily		wish I could play this song backwards, not as in backmasking, but starting with the "because of monica"'s. Pros: "Because of Monica" is a really strong and catchy hook--I went away singing it. There was some nice imagery in the first verse--the way she smiles and styles her hair. The vocals were nice as well as the instrumentation and good production Cons: The hook was the end! Just when I find something to sink my teeth into, to sing along, to get a groove going, the song was over. I think it would be beneficial to hook your listener sooner. And there were some forced or unnatural rhymes/words in there: "the moon will once lead you" and "her love you will prefer." Well done.
07-Jens		Great title; I don't mind it doesn't come as a hookline as in every other song. It gives this song its own identity. Everything is great about this song! I always like when the vocal is not too much up-front. It's only a matter of taste how much it scores!!
10-Kneena		A SWEET AND GENTLE KISS
02-Nancy G. Firefly		This song has a very clean sound. I love it. It reminds me of James Taylor. Your vocals are great. Maybe you should add a little reverb to the vocals... Your words are dreamy the way I like it. Your song reaches me. Although the words are predictable, I really dig this song. It makes me feel comfort and takes my mind off of my troubles. Thank you for sharing the sounds of your heart. Firefly
03-Brian		I like the melody & overall feel of this song. It has an intimate sort of one-on-one feel to it. I didn't get to hear this one through headphones but the production sounded really good even on the low-fi stream. One thing however is the breath pops on the vocal mic. You probably should have used a screen or have been further from the mic. Another thing is that the snare drum pattern at the end of the song seems a bit too busy to me although I like the synchopations. Maybe the snare should have been straight & the synchopated patterns could have been done with something else like claves or a woodblock. Nice chord changes throughout. A nice folk/pop/easy listening ballad.
11-Dave C		I see the copyright is '92 so I suspect that you are going to stick to your guns with this one and leave the arrangement alone (plus, it is probably about a real Monica) . but I agree with many of the other comments about the rhymes and chorus/bridge stuff. (IMHO) I think there is enough material for you to distill the verses a bit (maybe there are to many maybes) and arrange it so the hook appears earlier in the song with a little more of a build to it. Otherwise, I think it contains the building blocks to a commercially viable tune.
09-Peter M		Great arrangement, especially the guitar the countermelody from which gives the tune texture. Lloyd Cole fan? Lyrics themselves were very evocative - a couple places ("once lead you", "prefer", "she'll leave, just let her go", "nothing's in vain") where the lyrical phrasing and the melody phrasing seemed to fight against each other. Repetition of the verses seemed to weigh as the song went on, but throwing that tailpiece after the second verse (basically turning it into a chorus) would take care of this. It sounds like you're singing intentionally "nasal". I understand what you're going for, but I think this might sound better sung straight. You have a good "guitar ear", you know just what to play. Very pleasant, mellow tune. Again, reminded me a little of Lloyd Cole. That's a compliment. Overall a very good job.
08-Kris S		I liked the music right away. The classical guitar was a perfect fit along with the sedate, kind of off beat drumming. The lyrics told a good love story, but I also feel the word "maybe" was indeed overused. I like it all but had some trouble with the chorus/last section. It just kind of appeared with the music changing, and then the song ended. Not that I should talk given my entry in this little contest. Nice song Marcus.