ARTIST & SONG

COMMENTS

I detect a strong solo-Lennon influence here...that forebeat music hall sound. "Grow Old Along With Me" and "Real Love", two songs I really like, sprang to mind.

I didn't like the lyrics much. I know we're supposed to be in sappy love song territory, but this lyric is just a patchwork of cliches. A full storyline isn't necessary, but I wanted some progression of action or a conflict or something. Basically: if he's holding her "once again" -meaning he's held her before- why does she need reassurance that "it's OK". Why wouldn't it be OK? I was left wondering what was going on in this song.

That said, I thought the phrasing of the lyrics matched the melody perfectly. This was well done. I just wish the song said something new. Musically very strong, your good influences shine through.

Check out a guy named Will Kimbrough. You'd like him

Repetition of the verses seemed to weigh as the song went on, but throwing that tailpiece after the second verse (basically turning it into a chorus) would take care of this.

It sounds like you're singing intentionally "nasal". I understand what you're going for, but I think this might sound better sung straight. You have a good "guitar ear", you know just what to play. Very pleasant, mellow tune. Again, reminded me a little of Lloyd Cole. That's a compliment. Overall a very good job.

Lyrically, I liked the small word pictures of the man's activities but I got confused about the big picture. The song gives the early impression that the guy and the girl split up for some reason, and that the guy regrets that. Then suddenly he's looking into the future and they're together. I didn't see where this transition occurred, felt like it was just sprung upon me - kind of runs counter to the whole "thinking things through" theme of the song.

You have a good voice for this kind of music.

I loved the sound of this. Belle & Sebastian meets Mike Flowers Pops. Kind of like elevator music but with a clunky texture to it. The juxtaposition of the florid and the clunky pianos in the solo part was classic. Your voice is pretty interesting. Not what I'd call good (join the club) and obviously not professionally trained, but totally different. It sounded like you were stumbling over the English a bit, but that actually endeared me to the song more.

I don't know what kind of reception a demo like this is going to get, but the song is original and different. There are a lot of niches out there and you would be surprised It says here you are not a singer (I believe that) but obviously you can play the piano. Lyric-wise, I am not sure what this song is about in the context of the Valentine's Day theme. It struck me as more of a "peace song" about God (using the female pronoun). If that's wrong then I have no a jot of idea what it's about.

Mixing the polished with the awkward gives you a fresh sound, and my advice would be to plumb and cultivate this. Develop yourself as a musician, put together a live performance technique and then go out and find your audience. Not everyone will like this, but there is an audience out there

Beautifully composed and played. Is that tremolo played on a guitar or mandolin? I don't see any problem with the timing; I hear you playing from your voice's natural cadence instead of playing to keep time. You just as easily could have used backup singers as your only accompaniment, or a trumpet, but you used the guitar because you're obviously good enough to play in that style.

I don't like your voice. It's an excellent voice, I just don't like it. Hah. Thought you were gonna get off clean, didn't you? ;-) Other than that, excellent stuff.